


Team Sports And Overly-Competitive People

by Ilvermere



Series: Tails of the Fae [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, Guilds as Sports Teams, Humor, Inaccurate, Magnolia Fairy Tail, So Much Snark, Well an, and more about the actual team, but I wrote anyway, cause i love ice hockey, ice hockey, im sorry, less about the actual sports, like don't be surprised if we end up drowning in the snark, oh my god im almost positive this is going to devolve into crack, professional competitiveness, the ice hockey au that absolutely no one asked for, who allowed these people to be on a competitive sports team
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 06:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11822784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilvermere/pseuds/Ilvermere
Summary: What do you get when you put a bunch of overly-competitive jerks on a sports team? You get the Magnolia Fairy Tail. A look into the world of Fiore professional sports and why Gray should really consider another job.





	1. The Transfer - Ice Hockey Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsu really has no idea what he's walking into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Finally, I'm touching at the little plot bunnies that have been sitting around for months. 
> 
> Sooooo....I don't really have an explanation for this. All I got is that I was at a hockey game full of lots of fights and misconduct and wondered how Fairy Tail would fare if they were a hockey team. 
> 
> Likely not well. Not well at all.
> 
> I don't have a plot for this. Anything added here will probably be one-shots that play into the overall theme.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail or the game of ice hockey

 

Natsu Dragneel shouldered his duffel bag uncomfortably. A frown adorned his face as he raised a hand to knock on the door in front of him. A faint, “Come in!” sounded, and he transformed his face to an indifferent expression as he opened the door and walked into the office.

The pinked haired man blinked at the small old man who was sitting on the desk, sipping a drink. He was wearing orange pants, brown shoes, and an orange and blue jacket over a white shirt with a black Fairy Tail emblem upon it. A blue and orange pronged hat rested over his white hair. The old man raised a curious eyebrow at his guest and Natsu took the hint, stepping forward. 

“Coach Dreyar?” At the nod, Natsu continued. “I’m Natsu Dragneel, I’m transferring to Fairy Tail.” As soon as the words were out of Natsu’s mouth, he could see the old geezer’s face brighten in understanding and a grin appeared under his white mustache. 

“Ah, yes! Welcome, welcome! Name’s Makarov Dreyar, nice to meet ya!” Came his cheerful greeting. “Let me see those transfer papers of yours and make sure everything is in ship-shape. Then we’ll get you settled.” Natsu rummaged around in his duffel and pulled out his wrinkled transfer papers with a sheepish apology that Makarov waved off. A few moments of muttering and squinting at the papers, Makarov threw them on his desk carelessly.

“Everything seems to be in order!” He hopped down from his desk. “Let’s go get you a place in the locker room!” He walked briskly out of the office, forcing Natsu to jog to catch up. “Now, the team is scheduled for practice in about two hours so the rink is empty if you want to get a feel of where you’ll be playing before your teammates arrive.” 

Natsu nodded, dark eyes flicking everywhere to take in his new surroundings. Pictures of people lined the walls, people Natsu could only assume were on the team. He paused to examine one; four people clad in the black, white, and red Fairy Tail uniforms: one petite blonde with warm brown eyes and a sunny smile, a fierce (and intimidating) looking redhead, a smirking ginger whose fluffy hair resembled a lion’s mane, and a handsome, pale-skinned man with raven hair and dark eyes.

“Here’s the locker room!” Natsu started at the old man’s words and hurried to catch up. He stepped into the room and studied where he would be placing his gear for the foreseeable future. The carpet was black surrounding a depiction of a red and white ice rink with a black Fairy Tail emblem in the centre. Wood paneling lined most of the room and formed the ‘cubbies’ where the Fairy Tail players stored their jerseys, skates, and other hockey gear. A whiteboard hung on the wall nearest to the door, already littered with the X’s and O’s of player positions, as well as random messages and strange doodles scribbled by various team members. Natsu wandered over to investigate:

 

 _‘FT #1’_

_‘Bickslow is breathing on me. Make him stop. –Lucy’_

_‘Can’t do that, dear. We’re saving him in case we ever need him for food. <3 Ever’_

_‘Stop that damn stripping habit, Icicle Pants!’_

_‘Fuck off, Junk Yard!’_

_‘Can we cease these childish antics? We are professionals, we should act like it. –FJ ’_

_‘Fightin’ a losing battle there, Freedy. ~Cana’_  

 

Natsu chuckled to himself. This team certainly seemed like it was composed of nothing but a bunch of characters. Maybe this transfer would not be so awful. He moved his gaze to study the rest of the locker room. Directly across from the whiteboard in the dead centre was a nameplate reading: **Fullbuster**. To the left of Fullbuster’s locker was the name **Dreyar** and to the right read **Scarlet**. Natsu scanned the names of his future teammates. **Skeith** , **Heartfilia** , **Strauss** , **Alberona** , **Redfox** , **Regulus** , **LeFey** , **Justine** , **Strauss** , **Lockser** , **Rocko** , **Alors** , **Mulan** , **Connell** , **Conbolt** , **Mine**... Natsu ran his eyes down all the rest of names, sweeping up both sides of the locker room until he spotted the empty space next to Dreyar’s locker.

“Is this...?” 

Makarov noticed where Natsu was gesturing. “Yes. You’ll be taking the slot of Mystogan Staves who departed for personal reasons. He was a right-winger as well. I hope you’re prepared, Natsu,” Makarov’s voice became serious. “You will have to try your hardest in order to pick up the slack stemming from Mystogan’s departure. Mystogan was a superb player, don’t assume your task will be easy, And as for the team, Mystogan was well-liked, even if he was a bit more antisocial than normal, but many of my children aren’t fond of change. I hope that the welcome you receive will be a good one, but I know my kids and it’ll take a while for them to warm up to you.”

 

* * *

 

The rush of ice-cold air soothed Natsu as he stepped onto the ice. True to the Coach’s words, the rink was empty and Natsu was allowed to practice in peace. He skated laps around the rink, a couple forwards, a couple backwards. He practiced changing directions on a dime and the occasional jump. Makarov showed him where to find the practice equipment and left Natsu to fire shot after shot at the empty net he set up. He had been practicing for a little less than forty-five minutes when a voice interrupted him. 

“Hey! You must be the new guy!” 

Natsu turned to see a girl with blonde hair and a bright grin. She was all decked out in her gear, waving at him as she hopped into the rink and skated over to him. “My name’s Lucy Heartfilia! It’s nice to finally meet you. Coach has been saying that we’d be getting a new teammate for weeks now, so I’m glad you finally made it!” 

Lucy was very cheerful, Natsu noted. “Natsu Dragneel.” He greeted with a small smile. “You here to practice I take it?” 

“Yep!” Lucy nodded and tapped her stick against the ice. “I usually come here a couple hours earlier than normal practice to get myself warmed up for the warm-ups.” She added with a laugh. 

Natsu blinked. “’Warmed up for the warm-ups’?” he echoed. “Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of the warm-ups?” 

“Well, not really,” Lucy began as the pair started skating laps, “our captain expects nothing but the best so he makes the warm-ups difficult so that we get used to working that hard and _then_ begins practice. It used to make us horribly exhausted, but we realised that we were a lot more prepared for our games as we were less tired by the third.” Lucy let out another laugh. “Seems like our hard work has improved our stamina!” 

Natsu nodded, taking in that information. “So,” he lined up the puck, “you a good shot?” He fired. The puck sailed into the net. 

Lucy smirked devilishly. “Am I?” Her wrist flicked and she slammed the puck into the net. She turned back to the wide-eyed newbie, her smirk wider. “I’m one of our top scorers.” Natsu stared wide-eyed at her before breaking out into an impressed laugh. 

“That was awesome! Let’s see who can score the most!” He challenged with a toothy grin. Lucy tapped her stick on the ice in agreement and the challenge was on. Shot after shot, the pile of pucks inside the net grew as each player tried their damnedest to outshoot the other. When the pucks ran out, they turned to each other.

“15!” “15!” Their voices mingled as they shouted their numbers. They paused for a moment before breaking out into laughter again. Lucy patted Natsu on the shoulder. 

“If you can keep up with me, you’ll be just fine here.” She praised encouragingly. “Hey, maybe there’s a chance you’ll be as good as our captain!” They skated to the rink door and walked back to the locker room. 

“Who is the captain anyway?” Natsu wondered aloud.

“Huh...?” Lucy frowned in confusion, but brightened a second later. “Oh that’s right! You’re new. Well, our captain was originally supposed to be Laxus,” she pointed to the Dreyar cubby, but he always got a little _too_ angry _too_ quickly about the tiniest of mistakes. And it was no secret that he really wanted to try his hand at coaching.” She then pointed to the Scarlet nameplate. “Then Coach tried Erza, but she gets _way_ too competitive and kept threatening to break the players’ kneecaps, both opponents for getting in her way and teammates for also getting in her way.” 

Natsu gulped at her descriptions of two of his new teammates. Especially at Scarlet’s. 

Lucy continued, pointing at Fullbuster. “Since Coach was a bit leery about giving either of them the captaincy, he decided on the happy medium: Gray.” She paused and tapped her chin with her finger. “Well, not so much ‘happy’; more ‘grumpy and moody’. But Gray’s pretty slow to anger and only threatens to break your kneecaps when you annoy him. Thus, the medium between Laxus and Erza.” 

“And there was no one else?” Natsu asked in disbelief. Lucy shrugged.

“Gray, Laxus, and Erza, are our best players. Laxus is killer in defense, Erza’s the best goaltender, and Gray is not only our fastest player, but also one of our top three scorers. The others being myself and, well, Mystogan. Loke,” she pointed to Regulus, “is a pretty damn good scorer, though, as is Freed, and Evergreen’s the fastest behind Gray.” Lucy gestured to Justine and LeFey respectively.

“Do they have violent tendencies as well?”

Lucy chuckled. “We’re Fairy Tail, Natsu. We all have violent tendencies. Loke’s also a huge playboy, unfortunately; so don’t be surprised if you find a gaggle of random girls outside of the locker room. Freed is nice, very quiet and is usually reading books in languages none of us can understand. Ever’s rather intense about her love of faeries and all things mythical so don’t you dare insult them around her. And that’s talking about only three of us.” She added with smirk. 

Natsu gaped before he shook his head with a rueful laugh. “You are all crazy.” 

Lucy’s smirk turned mischievous. “Why are you only talking about _us_ , Mister Dragneel? _You_ are one of us now, so...” She slung an arm over his shoulder in solidarity. “Welcome to crazy town, Natsu Dragneel!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's all I've got at the mo.  
> I might add the roster of Fairy Tail so you all can see who has what position.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	2. Fairy Tail Team Roster - Ice Hockey Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the roster for the hockey team Fairy Tail.  
> No, it is definitely not accurate like actual team rosters.  
> Yeah, I know some of the last names are pathetic puns, but I tried ^^'

**FAIRY TAIL ROSTER**

 

Coach: Makarov Dreyar

Physician: Porlyusica Sage

Assistant Physician: Wendy Marvell 

Captain: Gray Fullbuster #26

Alternate Captain: Erza Scarlet #11

Alternate Captain: Laxus Dreyar #5

 

Forwards:

  * Center: Gray Fullbuster (C) #26
  * Center: Freed Justine #6
  * Center: Mirajane Strauss #44
  * Center: Max Alors #78
  * Center: Jet Runner #14
  * Right Wing: Natsu Dragneel #77
  * Left Wing: Lucy Heartfilia #32
  * Right Wing: Evergreen LeFey #16
  * Left Wing: Loke Regulus #91
  * Right Wing: Juvia Lockser #20
  * Right Wing: Bisca Mulan #59
  * Left Wing: Alzack Connell #3



Defense:

  * Right Defense: Bickslow Skeith #88
  * Left Defense: Laxus Dreyar (A) #5
  * Right Defense: Gajeel Redfox #63
  * Left Defense: Cana Alberona #54
  * Left Defense: Macao Conbolt #82
  * Right Defense: Wakaba Mine #37



Goaltenders:

  * Erza Scarlet (A) #11
  * Elfman Strauss #49



Alternates:

  * Left Defense: Lisanna Strauss #8
  * Right Wing: Laki Olietta #95
  * Left Wing: Droy Planton #60
  * Right Defense: Nab Lasaro #17




	3. Team Meetings And Jerkoff Greetings - Ice Hockey Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, Gray hates his job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be writing anything that comes to mind here in my spare time.  
> No, there is no plot. It's just going to be random stuff during a hockey season xD

 

Gray lounged at his cubby in the locker room and watched as his fellow teammates trudged in with various degrees of excitement, ranging from disgustingly cheerful to contemplations of maiming. He raised a brow when the shapely woman with a shock of long, white hair strode up to the new player with a smile so sweet that Gray could actually feel cavities forming from where he was sitting. 

“Hello,” sweet merciful gods, even her _voice_ dripped sugar, “you must be our new transfer!” 

Newbie—Gray dubbed him ‘Pinky’—blinked then released quite the boastful grin. “Yep! That’d be me!” 

The woman beamed brighter. “How wonderful! I’m Mirajane Strauss!” Gray loved Mira, he really did, but did she have to be so damned _chipper_? It was almost as if she enjoyed coming to practice and seeing the all the jerkasses she called teammates! 

Pinky interrupted his thoughts by speaking again. “Natsu Dragneel.” Dragneel? The hell kind of name was that? 

“It’s _my_ name, you prick.” Oh shit, did he say that out loud? 

Gray, covering up his slip, stared disinterestedly at Pinky—oh sorry, _Natsu Dragneel_ —and didn’t bother to comment. This, apparently, was the correct thing to do since Dragneel practically turned red with irritation. 

Instead of commenting, Gray went back to watching his team filing into the locker room. He turned his glare on full force when a familiar head of ginger hair sauntered in with two floozies hanging from his arms. Loke froze in his tracks at the sight of his Captain’s icy glare and slowly retreated from the locker room step-by-step, intent on saying farewell to his delightful company. Satisfied, Gray let his boredom return and swept his eyes along the cubbies, noting who had arrived on time and who had yet to show and was _late_. 

Hell, even the newbie arrived on time! Gods be _damned_ , if Bickslow was late _again_...

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Bickslow waltzed into the room just as Gray had begun to plan his timely demise. 

Macao and Wakaba weren’t far behind the usual tardy-master, arriving in the midst of an argument. 

 _Let’s see, let’s see...Wakaba and Macao are bickering, Loke is_ still _saying goodbye to his “lady friends”, Juvia is being creepy, Erza is looking imperious, Laxus is brooding, Gajeel is being an asshole, Mira and Lucy are trying to cheer everyone up, Freed is reading a book in some unknown language, Evergreen is doing her makeup again...._ Gray marked off his mental checklist as he silently went through attendance. 

Conclusion: His team were a bunch of idiots and jerks masquerading as professional sports players. Business as usual. 

Finishing his mental attendance—a good thing everyone had showed up this time, cause if even _one_ skipped this meeting again, heads were going to _roll_ ; Gray was _not_ dealing with that shit this time—Gray cleared his throat and stood. Surprisingly, his team quieted down without him yelling at them and focused. 

Huh. Maybe his explosion the last first-of-the-season team meeting paid off. 

“What do you want, Icicle Pants?” Gajeel snapped.

Then again, maybe not. Sometimes, Gray hated his fucking job. 

“Shut up, Junk Face,” Gray shot back. Voice dulling to normal disinterest, Gray went on. “Here we are for another season. First order of business, we have a new team member. Natsu Dragion.” 

“It’s Dragneel, you droopy-eyed bastard!” Dragneel growled, glaring at him. Gray met his furious gaze evenly, which infuriated the pink-haired male even more. 

“Let’s give him a big Fairy Tail Welcome to the team.” Gray continued monotonously, as if Natsu hadn’t spoken. Claps and cheers echoed around the locker room, brightening Natsu’s mood a bit. “Also, we have a winner here today. Lucy, who published her first article last spring has received an award for exemplary writing.” Gray looked to Lucy. “Congratulations, we’re all very proud of you.” Lucy snorted at Gray’s bored tone, taking the words as the compliment they were instead his tone. More clapping and cheering made Lucy smile bashfully. 

“As many of you are doubtlessly aware,” Gray forged on, “we did not do so well last season.”

“We sucked,” Gajeel interrupted once more and Gray was going to _strangle_ him if he did it a third time. However, he had actually said something true, so maybe he’ll get a pass. 

“Yep,” Gray agreed bluntly, “we sucked. Any ideas as to why?” 

“Laxus’ defection to the coaching staff?” Cana supplied immediately. The man in question shrugged in unconcern. 

“Bisca and Alzack’s wedding?” Bicksclow offered, ignoring the twin angry protests. 

“Gray’s injury by his own teammate?” Erza put in, shooting a nasty glare toward Bickslow. 

“The other teams were better than us?” Mirajane, ever the sensible one, piped up. 

“Gray’s leadership?” Gajeel snickered gleefully.

“Loke?” Lucy asked dryly. Loke, in turn, sputtered and spread his hands with an offended, “Lucy, what the hell?” 

Gray blinked at the rapid-fire responses before taking a deep breath. “While I’m sure that all those most likely played a factor in our loss, that’s not...really what I was going for. And I didn’t see any of _you guys’_ leadership winning any playoffs,” Gray added bitingly, throwing a vicious glare at a smirking Gajeel. 

“We know, Gray,” Lisanna soothed. “No one but Gajeel was insulting how you run things. Gods know none of _us_ want the captaincy. Gajeel’s just an idiot, so ignore him like the rest of us do.”

 _That’s great and all_ , Gray thought balefully, _but_ I _didn’t want the captaincy either. I hate being in charge of things._ He didn’t voice his thoughts and simply nodded a thanks to Lisanna.

“Juvia thinks that Gray-sama does a perfect job of leading this team!” Juvia gushed, hearts in her eyes as she gazed adoringly at her Captain.

Silence greeted her words and Gray wished he could sink through the floor and get as far away from Juvia as possible. 

“Uh,” he floundered, “...thank you, Juvia.” He answered lamely. Juvia, however, practically fainted on the spot when Gray acknowledged her. 

Clearing his throat once again, Gray soldiered on through this torture-fest of a team meeting. “We weren’t cohesive last year. That’s why we lost. We didn’t treat each other like teammates. Instead we regarded each other like really obnoxious roommates that we were stuck with indefinitely.”

Gray eyed his team, including the newbie. “That has to stop. If we want to win, and Gods know that’s the one thing everybody on this team can agree on, we need to function like a team and not a hodgepodge of violence and snark.” Gray ran his fingers through his hair. “If we can work as an actual team, then I think we have got an incredibly high chance of winning. In spite of our personality flaws, we are very skilled players. I think we can win this year.” 

He paused and waited for the inevitable arguments.

For the second time today, he was surprised. 

“Our Captain is correct,” Erza broke the silence. Pounding her fist into her palm, she continued passionately. “His inspiring speech as sparked a new era of Fairy Tail. We will work as a team like no team has done before! And if _any_ of you _dare_ to mess this up, you will be dealing with _me_.” She concluded forcefully, glaring death at the others. 

There were frantic nods and stammered agreements. 

Erza sat back, a satisfied cat-smirk on her face. 

Gray nodded to her. “What Erza said. Let’s make the playoffs our goal this year and not the dead last slot, yeah?” Gray sucked in a breath and pursed his lips in thought. “Well, that’s all I got,” he said finally, “anybody have anything to add?” 

Silence. What a talkative bunch today. 

“Okay,” Gray brushed imaginary dirt off his pants, “that concludes our first-of-the-season team meeting. Practice starts tomorrow at eight in the morning sharp. _Don’t be late_.” He glared pointedly at the usual suspects. “Welcome once again to Natsu Dragmar,” “It’s _Dragneel_!” “and I’m looking forward to winning the championship this year. Now get the fuck out.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?


	4. Close Encounters of the Fan Kind - Ice Hockey Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a funny story about Juvia's membership.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God, this story is slowing devolving, I'm so sorry xD
> 
> Note: this story will NOT be an accurate portrayal of ice hockey and ice hockey leagues/teams. In fact, I'm almost certain it's going to devolve into crack. The seriousness is degrading, and I'm so sorry
> 
> Thanks to everyone who read! <3

 

“So, uh,” Natsu nudged Lucy, “what’s the deal with, well, her?” He gestured unsubtly at the blue haired woman who was gazing infatuatedly at the team Captain. 

“Who—Juvia?” Lucy clarified. At Natsu’s nod, Lucy sighed. How to explain this...

“Well,” Lucy began slowly, fumbling in an attempt to come up with a way to _actually explain_ Juvia. 

“Well,” she started again. “Well Juvia is....she is....” 

Natsu raised his eyebrows at Lucy’s stumbling. “She’s...?” he prompted. 

“She’s a teammate?” Lucy tried weakly. 

“A teammate who seems rather obsessed with our Captain.” Natsu pointed out dryly. He made a face. “It’s kinda creepy.” 

“ _Yes_ ,” Lucy agreed emphatically, slapping her hand on her knee. “Believe it or not, we’ve tried to get her to stop doing that. She’s freaking him out.” The blonde fiddled with the light pink tape, unsticking it from itself, before wrapping it around the handle portion of her stick securely.

The conversation paused as Natsu peered curiously at her tape. “Pink?” 

“Huh?” Lucy looked down and giggled slightly. “Heh, yeah. Erza had demanded color-coordination during her tenure as Captain. Something about ‘team building via individualism’. It was a little strange, but none of us disregarded our well being enough to defy her, ya know?”

“’Team building via indiviualism’?” Natsu echoed with a snort. “Isn’t that a whatchamacallit? Oxy-maureen? Oxy-morose? Oxy—“ 

“An oxymoron?” Lucy supplied with a smirk.

“Yeah that!” 

Lucy shrugged helplessly. “Ah, probably? Erza was contradictory like that. Gray kept the color-coded trend going because, and I quote, “I’m sick of picking up my damn stick and finding out it’s the wrong damn stick”.” 

The blonde paused in her wrapping and blinked. “Actually, I think he kept it going so that everyone would know whose stuff is whose and wouldn’t be so inclined to touch everyone else’s things.” She sighed loudly. “It really wouldn’t surprise me if he has some form of OCD. The guy’s a total neat-freak and seriously anal about having his things in order.” 

Natsu rolled his eyes. Sounds like the stripper didn’t appreciate a good mess! 

“Anyway, about Juvia,” Lucy continued, staring up her wrapping again. “It’s actually a funny story. You see,” she finished her wrapping and broke off the tape, setting the roll back into her cubby shelf, “she was, well, still _is_ , I guess, a fan. She went to every game, and when I say every, I mean _every_ game. She never missed a one.” 

“Well, _apparently_ ,” Lucy chuckled in between her words, “she decided she wanted to get closer to her beloved “Gray-sama”. So she came to team tryouts in the beginning of the season a couple years ago.” 

Natsu’s grin slowly widened. “She didn’t.” 

Lucy mirrored his grin. “She _did_.” Lucy tried to muffle her giggles with her hand, to little success. “So she showed up to tryouts, yeah? And Gray was so mad; he couldn’t believe his crazy, psycho stalker—his words, not mine—had followed him there. But coach was like, “well, she did show up, and we usually let everyone who showed up try out, so let’s give her a shot” and “we can’t allow some people while excluding others, Gray, shame on you”. And Gray,” Lucy didn’t bother to try and hide her laughter now, “Gray ranted to Coach Makarov about how that wasn’t good team management practices and how she wasn’t even supposed to _be there_ and how on earth did she know tryouts were that day and where they were when she had never even seen the invitation. But Coach overruled him and let Juvia try out, much to Gray’s consternation.” 

Natsu guffawed at that prick’s misery. Lucy joined in, happy to be sharing one of her absolute favorite memories.

“I’m positive Juvia was about to faint when Gray called her name. But she suited up in Mirajane’s spare gear and went out on the ice. And _then_ —and this is the best part—she was determined to impress “Gray-sama” so she _outshot every other hopeful on the ice_.” 

Natsu fell out of his cubby and onto his ass on the floor. His face was red and he was practically choking on his laughter. Lucy, on the other hand, had tears gathering in her eyes. 

“Juvia was so intent on impressing Gray that she outplayed everybody that was trying out. It was _hilarious_ , _especially_ Gray’s face. He couldn’t freaking believe it! Neither could the rest of us, for that matter. I mean,” Lucy put her hand on Natsu’s shoulder to steady herself, “here’s this crazy fan who had never played a game of ice hockey _or_ picked up a hockey stick in her life, mind you, and she was easily the best player on the ice. We found out later that she had _no_ prior sport experience, none of us were sure if she had ever even thrown or caught a ball.” 

“So how’d she end up on the team?” Natsu asked breathlessly.

“Coach Makarov thought the whole thing was so, utterly, uproariously funny that he chose her right on the spot. Don’t get me wrong, she was good, for a serious novice, but I think Coach said yes because he knew it would annoy Gray. We all love Gray, but he is so much fun to pick at. So, I’m pretty sure that Coach saw this as an opportunity he couldn’t pass up.” 

“And that’s how Juvia became a member of Fairy Tail.” Lucy concluded amidst a round of chuckles.

“Oh my _gods_ ,” Natsu laughed loudly, “that is by far the greatest story I’ve ever heard in my _life_.” He fell back and sprawled out on the floor, still laughing. “I wish I had seen that stripper’s face when Coach approved of Juvia joining.” 

“Don’t you worry, Natsu,” Lucy purred mischievously, “we’ve got _backups_ of our backups when it comes to blackmail here. We’ve got all our bases covered.” At Natsu’s gleeful expression, Lucy tutted. “I wouldn’t look so happy if I were you, you’ll have some incriminating stuff there soon yourself.” 

Seeing Natsu’s fearful gleam made Lucy allow herself a satisfied smirk.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore


End file.
